The Tales of Two Tall Men

swimming in a pool of lies

renfamous:

British Kitchen Nightmares: “The risotto is overcooked and your restaurant needs new lighting.”

American Kitchen Nightmares: “YOUR STAFF DOES DRUGS ON THE CLOCK, YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND THERE’S A LIVE RAT IN MY FOOD.”

(via wheelz17)

If you follow me I’m sorry

I just wanted to study for chemystery when this happened and an hour later I realized I had a whole lot of drawing done and not a whole lot of chem done and this is why we can’t have nice things. 
Can I please have a new brain???

I just wanted to study for chemystery when this happened and an hour later I realized I had a whole lot of drawing done and not a whole lot of chem done and this is why we can’t have nice things.
Can I please have a new brain???

I feel bad for everyone on my floor because all they hear from my room is
1) me singing
Or
2) me getting fucked

2 terrifying noises on their own